Decimus 1, 1669, My
Birthday
So
it’s the morning of my birthday. I’m 21 now. Hoorah. I don’t know if I
want to celebrate, not after last night. I’m actually having a hard time
living with myself right now. Oh, my poor Sylvain, what have I done? I want to
believe I did the right thing. I do believe I did the right thing, but I never
ever wanted to hurt him! Yes, I finally spoke to him last night for the first
time in 5 years. He’s become quite a young man, but now his world has fallen
down around his shoulders & it’s my fault!
Dio
has held me all he could, but sometimes sadness is far too unpleasant to share
even with your dearest friends. He has left me alone now to let me “figure it
out”, as Sylvain will have to also. On that note, I have determined to finally
go on vacation; perhaps the time away will help us both. I sincerely hope that
he can love me again, like he used to… like his Zephyrne.
Anyway,
the journey from Chareuse to Wische didn’t start out as unpleasant, though I
will admit that it had its trying moments… like my return home. I’ll get to
that soon enough though. I should begin at the beginning, back when I was happy.
The
morning of Octavus 13th began perfectly, in the arms of a perfect
gentleman, M. du Gloyure. When we weren’t making love we were holding
eachother & talking like old, dear friends. As the sun came up I told him I
needed to leave & at that, he looked rather downcast. I explained how I
wanted to return to my homeland, now that I could, & vote there. And I did
have several other things I needed to work out. He nodded, admitting that he had
important things to do as well, but… He kissed me. Another passionate hour
passed before we both reluctantly agreed we needed to get up, however he did ask
me to see him before leaving.
I was
humming to myself as I returned to my room, bathed & dressed. As I was
gathering my belongings, there was a knock at the door; Willem had arrived. I
invited him in & immediately inquired about Sylvain. He had been taken to
“friends” in Kirk, he said, but after the Revolution he insisted on leaving,
so they allowed him to go. When I panicked & asked why, he replied that he
had gone with them willingly upon reading my note, but they weren’t going to
hold him against his will. What could I do but nod & thank him? I suppose I
shouldn’t have expected that; I was just so worried about him. Willem
congratulated me on the “good job” concerning the Revolution & mentioned
that he was interested & ready to return to my service. With a “glad to
have you back”, the two of us made our way out through the hall.
On my
way out, I stopped at Dupré’s room with orders to Porté to Freiburg &
have O’Connel meet me in Crieux with Le Grande Betê. By the time he arrived,
I would likely be ready to leave.
I
found Arnoud & Hubert in the dining room, talking the usual politics over
drinks. M. Maximillian du Chareuse was seemingly very busy, but I gave him a hug
anyway, telling him very sincerely that it was an honor to know him. And it was.
This was an author who had written the pamphlets that I’d held so dear for so
long, that shaped my philosophies of liberty & justice for all men. Much to
my surprise, he stopped what he was doing just long enough to pat my back, kiss
my cheeks & wish me well. I asked Hubert for a word & he excused himself
politely before leading me into his office one last time.
“So
this is it.” He said, as he had the night I’d set out on my mission. I
nodded, “Yeah.” He held out his hand & when I took it he pulled me to
him, kissing me deeply. I assured him I would see him again & he repeated my
own words back to me, “Would you mind if I said I hoped so?” We stood there for a long time just holding eachother,
kissing. I was so comfortable, so content; I didn’t want to leave. I don’t
think he wanted me to leave either, but he managed to buy more time; he wanted
to see me off.
He
made a showing of being a proper gentleman as he escorted me to my horse &
helped me mount. “Farewell, Zylvainette.” He said before taking my hand
& giving it a gentle kiss. I winked back, raised my hand & yelled
“Viva Montaigne!” And I was off.
I had
three goals that I wanted to complete while still in Chareuse. One was obtaining
new Montaigne flags for my ships. Another was retrieving a souvenir wanted
poster of me before they were all torn down. A curious man watched in confusion
as I snatched one of them off of the wall beside him. I smiled & winked,
“I don’t think anyone will be needing this!”
Finally,
I stopped at the plaza before the Chateau du Soliel; the place where I had
shamed l’Empereur in front of thousands of shocked attendees. I really
didn’t go there intending to get SO lost in the moment, but before I realized
it I was sashaying to the center, waving to a slowly gathering audience. At the
center, where I had stood, I dramatically recited the speech that I had given
that day. At the end, I copied the
motion of placing the tapestry at his feet & when I did the spectators
applauded!
One of them caught my attention, a darling little girl
with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. I walked over & knelt down beside
her. With her father’s permission, I let her hold my sword & while she
didn’t say much, she looked so very excited. When
she blinked back at me with those big, wondrous eyes I was proud to say, “Now
you can be anything you want to be.” I’ll never forget that little commoner
girl who now has hope to become so much more than a “mere peasant”.
Anyway, the jaunt to Crieux was long, but not
noteworthy except that all cities along our way were the same, simultaneously
joyous & chaotic. Symbols of the aristocracy had been torn down & signs
of struggle were everywhere we went; Musketeers were busy trying to keep order.
We arrived in my beautiful hometown of Crieux on
Octavus 22nd. While some buildings were battered, it seemed that the
anger & chaos had been replaced by happiness & excitement about the
upcoming elections. The town was simply a buzz about it & everyone seemed
quite proud to be able to have a voice in their government. From listening
alone, I discovered that the elections for Crieux Province were to be held on
the 29th. The elected members of Parliament had to be in Chareuse to
convene for the first time on Nonus 7th.
After getting a room for the next week I treated my
men to some authentic Crieux cuisine, which I realized that I missed IMMENSELY.
Oh, the fish cooked heavily in wine with garlic & the local wine! Of course,
the dinner found my dear Castillian companion & I involved in a bit of a
friendly debate over whose nation had the best food. However, I still maintain
that Castille has nothing on Montaigne!
Anyway, that night during drinks I opened up to my men
more than I ever have & prepared to do so even more. They trusted me with
their lives, I said; now it was time for me to trust them with mine. I asked
them kindly, as friends, to accompany me to my home. The precious Mr. McKrimmon
looked at me so dearly, saying that it didn’t matter to him where I came from.
I can’t begin to express how much I appreciated that sentiment, but I asked
again. I needed their support. “Besides”, I lifted my nose & laid on the
noble arrogance, “You should be honored.” After a good laugh, they all
agreed & we proceeded to drink ourselves into a stupor. The lot of us
staggered back to our rooms singing horribly.
I was a bit hung over the following day as we rode to
the Chateau Allais du Crieux. I was rather obviously nervous, as much as I tried
to hide it, & the trip was a silent one. I was actually glad Willem had
other business in town. As much as I like the man, some things can only be
shared with the closest of friends.
Well, the grand home of my childhood was… a
disaster. It’s not that I expected different. I mean, somewhere in my head I
knew it would have to be, but the reality of it was devastating! The once
exquisite front gates had been bashed in & twisted into a sick distortion.
The elaborate gardens had been trampled & the stables burned.
The once green grounds were covered with frantic
tracks, as well as shards of glass & wood. A full half of the enormous
Chateau had been burned away & was smoldering still. Through where
the wall had been I could make out scavengers going through the wreckage,
picking through the ashes. The entry had been chopped through; obvious axe-marks
were left in the broken doors & doorposts. I desperately struggled not to
cry as we stopped at the front door.
Both Quartermaster & Gunner stole concerned
glances at me, but the Highlander approached suggesting that they stand guard
outside & watch the horses, “Stable boy’s run off, I guess.” And the
tears came, like it or not, as I replied, “Welcome to my home, Mr. McKrimmon.”
I turned to Dio, offered him my hand & together we stepped through the open
doorway.
I could never have prepared myself for what I was
about to see. The entrance foyer was an absolute ruin. Shards of mirror were all
over, as well as smashed furniture, but what disturbed me most of all was the
large puddle of blood on the floor & gruesome smatterings of it on the
walls! The once white & pristine walls… now black with soot & blood!
Oh, Theus, I never wished my family dead! I never even wished Vivianne dead as
much as I despised her! Oh, Sylvain…
Okay, writing this is certainly much more difficult
than I’d anticipated. I’ll continue once I’ve had a drink.
~Z
