Octavus 9, 1668

Damned inquisition!

Why do they always have to ruin everything? …And what exactly is it with them that won’t allow them to leave Me alone? I mean, it’s not like I’ve done anything to thwart them… yet. Besides, one would think that one would be safe from their taint in Freiburg of all places! Of course, wherever & whenever I meet them now, it is bound not to be a pleasant encounter. After today’s confrontation, they’re convinced I’m Legion incarnate! I can’t help it, though! It’s not like I could allow myself to keep my mouth shut any longer. They’d just stuck their blemished noses in my business one too many times. Well, regardless, I am so damned frustrated over the whole encounter & not even thinking of my time with Logan helps!

Ah, well. I suppose that was my Freiburg farewell party, but it fits. Most of this trip has left me feeling rather unwelcome. Inquisition completely aside, being accused of murder tends to make one feel that way as well… So, needless to say, while it has been quite an adventure, it certainly hasn’t been entirely to my liking & I’m actually finding myself somewhat rather eager to be back out to sea. We’re shoving off from the docks of Freiburg at the moment & will soon be on our way to Avalon, but from where I’m sitting, that can’t happen soon enough.

Perhaps I’m being too harsh. After all, an entanglement with Inquisitors could make even the best of days instantly sour, so perhaps when I write everything down it won’t seem so bad…

Now that I think about it, my first day back began rather delightfully with a delicious breakfast of eggs, ham, toast & jelly out on the enclosed porch with Erik & a rather disheveled, bleary-eyed Serpente.

A relaxing bath, dress, hair & full perfuming was followed by a brief sojourn to my clothier with some fresh sketches. I’m already excited about the prospect of having something new again, especially after suffering the indignity of being seen in the same dresses one too many times!

And while the prospect of beautiful new gowns was fabulous, nothing could compare to how excited I was to be seeing my Logan Seiger again! After stopping off again at home to pick up Berek’s quill, along with a basket of meat, cheese & wine for the hard-working duo, I rushed to the Wachturm.

 At the top of the tower, through the large double doors, I caught a view of the scribe scribbling away at a disorderly desk while the Eisenfürst hung out a far window, bottle in hand.

My eyes didn’t wander from Logan long, however. I’d begun to I wonder if it’s possible for him to have gotten more beautiful in my absence, or if it was just my missing him that made it seem so. Either way, I was in absolute awe.

I walked silently beside him & stood there undressing him with my eyes until he looked up. When he did, his smile was priceless. He seemed truly happy to see me, very pleased with his gift & quite impressed by the tale of how I’d come by it. We spoke for a short while before he called out to Trague, informing him that I had arrived. It wouldn’t be long before he would join us, welcoming me & asking Seiger to please leave us alone.

Once alone, one the Eisenfürst asked me what I thought I had accomplished by my charade in Charouse. (I must say, at that moment I felt like a little girl again, awaiting a scolding from Father. Throughout our discourse I expected to hear "…And wipe that smile off your face!" but I never once did.)

I offered the story & the reason behind it in exchange for time with his scribe that evening & once the deal was made I continued on, proudly pouring out my motivations for, & the brilliant execution of, l’Empereur’s beautiful birthday prank. After a long debate about nobles, commoners & human nature, we both left each other with much to think about, unfortunately. I fear that if I keep speaking to him, his book may never be completed!

I was so excited to be having Seiger over again, that I began primping immediately once I arrived home. The wait would be a long one however, & eventually I found myself peeling potatoes for Armin out of boredom. After all, I’ve peeled a great many in my time… Hell, I could peel potatoes while standing on my head in the crow’s nest, thanks to Captain Hicks!

Once there were no more potatoes to peel, I retired into the smoking room & began drinking rather heavily. Needless to say, by the time he arrived, I was already feeling quite… happy.

We spent some time before the fire, drinking wine while sharing our events of the past few months & talking about the upcoming book. I shocked him with my new tattoo & he pleasantly surprised me with his hopes for "our" future.

On that pleasant note, dinner was announced & we shared a fine candle-lit meal of pheasant. By this point, I was simply melting. He was just so intoxicating!

I swear I must have lost my head, but then again I tend to do that when I’m around him… But at one point, so taken by his charm & much to my own surprise, I confessed my true identity & practically proposed! Despite my insinuation, however, he never did ask what I hoped he would. Well, perhaps it’s for the best, for now. I know how flighty I can be.

Anyway, by the time we had finished dinner, our time was running short. He’d only been allowed two hours, but he promised to stay late. (It’s not like Trague was going to let him go now that the book was so close to completion…) So, after a brief stop in the gallery to view Christina’s breathtaking new patriotic artwork of Freiburg, we retired again to the fire lit serenity of the smoking room where we held each other closely & for the very first time, shared mutual professions of love.

When the time came I walked with him arm in arm to the Wachturm for a warm farewell. I promised to see him once more before leaving Eisen.

I went immediately to bed once I got home, after all, being that close to him makes me quite excitable & something simply HAD to be done…

As pleasantly as I’d fallen asleep, it didn’t avoid my waking from the nightmare yet again.

The next morning, I experienced a brief, but frustrating visit to my attorney’s office. Oh, he was pleasant as ever, but offered bad news. Amazing as it seems, Fat Boy’s enormous body had not been found & therefore there was no confirmation that he was actually deceased. Without a body, he could not be considered legally dead until the first of Secundis & at that point, he would purchase the estates for me. In the meantime, they were falling into disrepair without an owner to care for them.

It seems even in death, Erhart is making things difficult for me! My, wouldn’t he be pleased!

As an aside, before leaving I made sure to have my will altered, giving my Freiburg estates to Logan & my ship to Dio.

After a light lunch at The Fat Mug, I absolutely HAD to stop at The Cup of St. Gregor, where I confessed for drinks & shared a lovely conversation with my pilot, Willem Karls, & the several friends he’d been sitting with. I was having so much fun just speaking with like minds, that I hadn’t noticed how much I’d been drinking… as I found myself staggering home to pass out.

Again I woke from the dream.

The following morning, one of the dresses I ordered had arrived for my journey to the Castle Heilgrund. Nothing too ostentatious, but still very striking in it’s royal blue velvet simplicity. I gathered that as well as a couple of other gowns from my wardrobe, nibbled on a small breakfast (at Armin’s instance) & made for The Scarlet Lady.

The journey down Rostrum was quite easy & we would find ourselves docking in Gottskirkchen, where I ordered shore leave for everyone but the officers & my bodyguard, who would take skiffs for the rest of the 2-hour excursion.

Standing at the foot of the castle at Heilgrundstadt was both an intimidating & wondrous thing! I was in complete awe! Even is Montaigne, I had never seen any home so large or so regal, & never in my life had I felt so small (which I must say I found rather disturbing).

We were met at the gate by 10 guards who escorted us into the Castle where we were greeted by a small, pot bellied servant whose wig looked considerably too large for his head. When asked who we were & what our business was, I replied that the Eisenfürst had invited me, as I had Syrneth artifacts he wished to examine. The little ball of a man knew nothing of it & was actually about to turn us away when I mentioned how I’d arranged this meeting with Reginald Carlson, & perhaps he should ask him! At the mention of Carlson he rolled his eyes, sighed, & simply said, "Follow me please." (After traveling with the Explorer through Seiger, I completely understood the poor man’s exasperation!)

He led me up an absolutely gorgeous staircase & down a long, high corridor to an extremely large & extravagantly appointed bedroom, where I would meet those who would be my servants during my stay. Very pleased to be getting some decent treatment for a change, I took complete advantage of my amenities- ordering a bath followed by a full hair & makeup service. Feeling it only right to dress for the occasion, I donned my red, purple & black striped Eisen Lady gown & made for Dio’s room.

He too had gotten the idea to dress the part & was quite a sight to behold!

We had just reached the bottom of the stairs when, by some strange twist of fate, Carlson happened to be walking by. He instantly approached me & immediately offered to take me to Eisenfürst Heilgrund. It seemed that his patron was quite eager to hear about the compass.

While this all felt quite hurried, being as I’d just arrived, I was also very eager to find out about the compass & how it related to the nightmares I’d been having. The sooner I spoke to my host, I figured, the sooner I may be able to stop them.

We returned to my room to retrieve the compass & agreed that I would bring the statue down to the lab later that afternoon for examination. I was actually about to bring it as well, but the Avalon suggested that I neither bring nor mention it during the meeting, as his employer might "wish to acquire it at ‘any cost’."

Erik & Serpente joined us on the long trek to the room that our gracious host currently occupied. All of us stopped at the enormous, intricately carved double doors, where Carlson mentioned that perhaps my men should wait outside, oh, and… this is The Eisenfürst’s summer castle. He went on to tell us that he comes here to get away from duty, & ask that I please not bother him with political talk. Choking hard on the idea of this being his "summer castle", I stammered something about having no interest in politics & with that, I was led in.

There were guards posted opposite each other on either side of the long, regally decorated hall & at a large desk at the end sat the very young, very plain man I’d met on the outskirts of Freiburg. He paid no mind whatsoever to our entrance, in fact he never once looked up from his writing. The Explorer began to speak to him, but he simply brushed off his words until my name was mentioned. At that his entire demeanor changed! He immediately invited me to sit, poured me wine & welcomed me warmly. He was so excited to hear any news of the compasses! He asked me all about them & sat, captivated, as I spoke.

I told him everything, from the strange theft of mine’s mate to a detailed account of my nightmares. He listened, enthralled, the entire time & when I finished he seemed as giddy as a schoolboy! The very second I finished, he energetically told me that he would fund an expedition to find the mate of my compass. During the journey, he wanted me to take detailed notes of absolutely everything about the trip, including any artifacts we may find & any other information we may receive concerning them. He was very willing to pay me well for my trouble & also offered a substantial reward upon the delivery of the two compasses.

Needless to say, I agreed most heartily & no sooner had the words left my lips, he asked how soon we could leave. Considering we’d only just arrived, I arranged to stay ‘til the morning. In conclusion, he invited me to bring my officers to dinner & a ball that evening.

I agreed very happily to be there, as it had been awhile since I’d attended a formal party! To think, I was actually looking forward to a taste of courtly life for a change! I suppose in the end, I was only reminded of why I despise it so much. Ah, but I get ahead of myself…

After stopping back at my room to pick up the little statue, Carlson led me down a long, dark, dank staircase deep into the bowels of the castle.

The cold, stone walls were lined with cobwebs & I could hear the strangest screeches, cries & moans echoing through the black hallways. I never did see what abominations lie in the darkness, but from the sound of them… I didn’t want to know. As it was, I heaved a sigh of relief when my guide opened up a locked door & led me into his tidy little workroom.

I watched, amused, as the Explorer examined my glimmering golden prize. His face turned all shades of curiosity & confusion before he finally spoke. The statue wasn’t Syrneth as we’d originally thought, he said. In fact, it was Cathayan- at least the gold exterior was. It was almost as if the Cathay had built the statue around a Syrneth device. He offered to open it up, but feared that doing so might activate or disable it & being how it had saved me before, I quite understandably didn’t want to take the risk. To be perfectly honest, I feel a bit safer having it around after it saved me from Reis…

Carlson examined the compass next, testing it with different devices that I couldn’t possibly understand, nor did I care to. After awhile, however, he’d determined that it was made from a strange metal which could only be found on very few Montaigne-occupied islands in The Midnight Archipelago. Further, he was able to pick out some of the glyphs that were etched into the piece… something about "opening & closing doors", "raising wards around leylines" & "igniting the soul’s mirror". The souls mirror! My skin crawled as I remembered the nightmares & how my perspective flipped as if from one side of a mirror to another. I was even more convinced that the two were connected.

While I wondered the whys & hows, The Explorer went through his astrology books.

The word patterns on the compass matched the pattern of the constellation of the Erebus Cross’s star positions. This piqued his curiosity yet again, especially because he couldn’t explain it. Perhaps it’s mate would shed more light on the mystery…

He suggested that we travel to Ill d’ Bête, the vacation island where all of the frou-frou Montaigne noblemen go to hunt the most dangerous wild & exotic creatures that could be imported there. I, myself, remember hearing family members & socialites brag about the monsters they had killed there. Of course, what they never mentioned was how their many, many guards & guides would fire as well… Besides being a playground for the wealthy, it’s well known that that particular island is literally covered with Syrneth artifacts.

If we were going to go there & get past Montaigne guards, though, we were going to need another ship & he knew just the right Captain to ask. We would have to stop at the Explorer Society Chapter House in Freiburg on the way out to arrange it.

Once he’d deciphered all that he possibly could in the lab, we returned to the Eisenfürst’s hall to tell him of his discoveries. Stephan Heilgrund’s eyes lit up yet again as Carlson explained his findings. He enthusiastically told me to send my requirements to his bursar & they would be met at once.

After dressing in my extravagant red & black striped gown, complete with diamond tiara, choker & red feather fan, I sought out McKrimmon to have him make a list of our necessities for a 20-day excursion for the Eisenfürst’s bursar, along with a request of 10,000 guilders for our pay. (Which was granted without so much as a question.)

Moving on, I stopped off at Serpente’s room & together we walked to the dining hall. As if by some complete lack of control, I brought up my afternoon with Logan, with special emphasis on how I had practically asked him to marry me. We walked in silence for awhile after my revelation. Dio’s beautiful face fell into an expression of deep contemplation. Finally, he stopped, & looking directly into my eyes, he went to speak… Just then Carlson showed up, greeting us both & offering to walk us in to dinner.

I still wonder what Dio was going to say, though I suppose it would be a really bad idea to bring it up now, especially considering how things are between us at the moment. It just seemed so very important at the time…

Anyway, our names were announced as we walked through the huge, ornate double doors into an equally extravagant dining room. Dio, Carlson, Myself & eventually McKrimmon were seated at the Eisenfürst’s table awaiting his arrival.

Eventually, others arrived & were introduced to all around the table before they were seated. During that time, I would meet a cast of characters who were all unknowingly going to soon be a part of a very unpleasant mystery:

Antonio Naticelli, a Vodacce Merchant who was as charming as he was rotund.
Sofia de la Cruz, a Castillian noblewoman whose very name makes me want to throttle her (but I guess I’ll get to that).
A pale, petite Vendel lady with an innocent face by the name of Greta Janneson.
Leni Kendelburg, an imposing, tall, sinewy, dark haired Eisen woman.
The very pleasant Ambassador from Freiburg, Herr Friedrich Von Stahl.
Montaigne twins, Monique & Marguerite Bouvier, blonde, blue eyed & pale giggly girls who couldn’t be aged more than 17 years. Both had also taken an instant interest in Mr. McKrimmon…
Henry Claybourne, a fair-haired, middle aged, exiled Avalon Noble.
Yohan Koenig & Georg Hapsund, the envoy from Fauner Pösen. Both donned heavy ceremonial armor.
A kilt-clad, wild-looking, bombastic & burly, black haired Highlander by the name of Lord Furgis McAllister.

And last, but certainly not least…

the man whose arrival would inadvertently begin all of the intrigue to follow. He wore the powder blue uniform of the Montaigne Navy, complete with wig, hat, & enormous feather plume & was introduced as "Admiral Cesar Marceau Etalon du Toille". When given my name, he stalled for a moment before nodding curtly in my direction, "Charmed, of course", he said before moving on to his seat.

When the Eisenfürst arrived & took his seat at the head of the table, dinner was served. All around the table, it was quite obvious that several of the attendees didn’t exactly appreciate all of the company. Antonio & Greta shared steely gazes, while Pösen’s men squabbled with both Freiburg’s Ambassador & Frau Kendelburg. And then there was Admiral Etalon du Toille & myself who exchanged our share of sour glances. I couldn’t help it, though; he was from the family of my stepmother & a frou-frou noble who looked down his nose at me- ME, who was much more Noble, blood or otherwise, than he would ever be!

My attention was sidetracked when I noticed the Avalon noble’s interest in the silent war being waged between the Admiral & myself. I instantly made conversation with him, discussing his homeland, until I overheard Monsieur Cesar’s overblown, outrageous Montaigne accent asking Eisenfürst Heilgrund to consider allowing him to "stamp out piracy in Eisen waters". I couldn’t hold back my laughter as I turned my attention back in his direction & brought up how the Montaigne Navy can’t even capture one little pirate ship in it’s own waters! Thus, a full fledged, albeit polite, argument ensued. It wasn’t long before our debate included my antics at l’Empereur’s birthday, my detestation of the monarch & the nobles who follow him.

Others chimed in from time to time & eventually the entire table became engrossed in heated debates of one kind or another, except for the Eisenfürst who simply sat with a look of sheer boredom on his face.

When dinner was finished, thoroughly disgusted with nobility, I invited Dio to dance & as we did so I was able to catch a glimpse of the Highlander wandering down the hall, one of the teen girls under each arm.

Who’d have thought he was such a sly dog!?

Anyway, that seemed like a very good idea! It had been awhile & I did have a few drinks in me, so I began looking for prospects. There really wasn’t much to choose from, but my sights finally settled on Mr. Claybourne. I told Dio of my intentions, to which he replied that that was okay; he was going to ask Seniorita De la Cruz to dance then. I only mention it because… well, I know I have absolutely no right to, but I got jealous! Not just a little jealous, either! I was downright fuming! A very strange & altogether disturbing, new experience it was for me, but I managed to push it all inside by the time I reached my target, however. I suppose I thought that perhaps he could help make me forget what I was feeling.

Perhaps had I not been so flustered, I would have remembered more of the exchange that was to come. I wish that I had…

The Avalon was gathering finger food from a long table on the far side of the room. He welcomed me quite warmly & we spoke for awhile as I too gathered some goodies. He even offered to take my fan "so I could accommodate them".

We found a quiet couch together & spoke of Eisen as I rubbed his tense shoulders. I shared a bit about my love of Avalon, including my meeting with Berek, but eventually he guided the conversation to my apparent dislike for the Montaigne Admiral. I simply shrugged, saying something like, "A Montaigne frou-frou noble. What can you do?" I went on about my love for Eisen & how she had earned my loyalty, but I had none for the nobility of Montaigne, especially l’Empereur.

It was just after that exchange that he excused himself, claiming that I’d "worn out an old man" with the conversation.

Disappointed & even more intoxicated, I made my best attempt to invite Dupré to my bed, but he was already too far-gone to have been any use. To be honest, it was probably a good thing that he was. The last thing I need at the moment is to try to recover from an unsatisfying sexual encounter with one of my officers! Can you imagine!?

So, I looked all over for Dio, but he was no longer in the room… neither was the Lady De la Cruz.

I was about to give up on any semblance of a fun evening when Herr Von Stahl asked me to dance. While it wasn’t quite what I’d hoped for, it was very pleasant to share my news of Freiburg with him; he was so curious about his home & quite proud to be enjoying the company of a famous war hero from there.

While we were speaking, however, there was a ruckus which caused everyone to stop & turn. A duel had broken out in the center of the ballroom between Leni Kendelburg & Yohan Koenig! The entire room watched as the battle raged on to its conclusion when the young lady thrust her sword between her opponent’s armor. Blood ran from his mouth & out onto the floor as he fell, dead.

The Eisenfürst finally stood & walked over to the scene to announce the duel legal & the ball officially over.

Now, I had been keeping my eyes on the Montaigne Admiral all evening & from what I could tell, he had been doing the same, so as everyone left the room I followed him cautiously & watched him ascend another elaborate staircase to his room. And as I stood there, I felt a hand on my shoulder that nearly made me jump! The hand belonged to Georg Hapsund, Pösen’s envoy, who simply asked, "Going to bed then, Lady Von Drachenheim?" And I replied, "Eventually" before he continued on up the stairs. I found the entire exchange to be very curious, to say the least. Anyway, disenchanted with the entire evening, I went to bed with a bottle of wine.

Again I had the nightmare.

The following morning, I had just finished dressing in my new blue velvet when several soldiers came to my door. Eisenfürst Heilgrund wanted to speak to me, they said, Admiral Etalon du Toille was dead.

Stephan Heilgrund was waiting anxiously for me to arrive & ordered everyone out of the room when I did. He wanted me to feel free to speak the truth, before asking if I had done it. I sat in shock for a few moments & during that time, he explained that if I had, he would make up a story which would satisfy the Montaigne & I need not worry. If I did not, he needed to know so he could find out who did. While I was very touched by his offer, I maintained my innocence. He nodded thoughtfully before telling me to gather my crew together; we would all be having lunch at noon.

Around the table sat all but two of those who had attended the ball (if you can count Dupré who looked half-dead). Stephan Heilgrund sat at the head of the table & looked around at each of us. He announced the murder, followed by, "no one is leaving this room until I determine who had done it"

Of course, Hapsund was the first to bring up that he’d seen me following Cesar the night before & his story was backed up by Claybourne, who interjected that he’d seen my eyes following him all evening. The conversation broke into chaos until the Eisenfürst spoke up: "How does one kill a Montaigne Admiral?" He asked, throwing down a very familiar dagger of pure Dracheneisen & informing us that it had been imbedded deeply in the body.

Serpente & I shared panicked glances. "But he couldn’t have done it!" I spoke up, insisting that he’d been in someone else’s room at the time. "Wasn’t he!?" I demanded, turning to the Lady De la Cruz. The truth was… I was so very jealous that I not only wanted her to speak the truth, but I wanted to see her squirm.

Her cheeks went red & after I asked her a second time, she bowed her head & admitted that he could not have been responsible.

Claybourne chimed up again, much to my surprise, going on about how I was "quite well known for visiting men’s bedchambers in the middle of the night", as if he were trying to use my sex life to cast doubt on my innocence! "It just goes to show that you are no doubt a lady of little or no morals." He added, attempting to defend his revelation.

Again, arguments broke out all over the room. We argued everything from my questionable sexual practices to the war between Castille & Montaigne to the Battle of Freiburg before Stephan had to take control yet again.

"Where was everyone last night?" he asked, before reminding us once again that nobody was leaving until we found the murderer. I offhandedly commented, with a glance to Mr. Claybourne, that perhaps I should have taken a witness to bed, being that I’m known to do that…

He sneered back at me, a vicious look in his dark eyes, "Isn’t it true that your fan was found at the scene?" He then looked up at the Eisenfürst victoriously, but it was quite obvious that he didn’t expect the reaction he received. After a thoughtful moment, Stephan asked him how he knew about the fan; it was true, but no one had been informed of that detail. With a slight stammer, he replied that he had seen it with me, but just as his final word escaped his lips, Stephan ordered him arrested for conspiracy.

As the soldiers took the Avalon’s arms, I simply asked him "why". He didn’t answer; in fact, he barely glanced up at me before they hauled him away. The rest of the group had disbursed, leaving only Dio & I remaining. He wondered how Claybourne could have possibly gotten a hold of his dagger to which I replied, "Perhaps you should have kept your dagger in your pants." He looked up with a dark smirk, "That is arguable."

Due to the delay, we determined to leave in the morning, so I spent the rest of the night in my room wondering why. Who in Avalon hates me? Who could I have possibly made enemies with there? And… what about this reputation of mine? Not that I’m embarrassed, in fact I’m rather proud. Hell, I’m bound to get laid more with a reputation like that, but… I guess I wonder how HE came to that knowledge.

I suppose in all of my grief over the Inquisition I’d even forgotten these questions, but now that I think about it, they still perplex me. I just can’t think of anyone I’ve met in Avalon who has any reason to complain…

Anyway, the following morning we parted from the Castle Heilgrund & made our way back to Freiburg for an overnight shore leave. Serpente stayed with the ship to help prepare for the long voyage to The Midnight Archipelago, while Carlson led Erik & I to the Explorer Society chapter house. And a house it was; a very poor, very small house on the East Side surrounded by merchant shops. A sign on the door read, "Closed. By appointment only."

The Explorer knocked & soon after two beady eyes glanced through a slit in the door. I remember myself saying, "Oh no, not HER again" just before the door opened, revealing (as I feared) Madeline du Bisset. She hurried us in as if the door were going to collapse at any moment & rushed back to her desk where she began writing busily in a ledger. Her eyes barely glanced up as Carlson explained our situation, including the story of the compass, before asking if she knew where Berek was.

Now THAT caught MY attention. I asked him if that was the Captain he was talking about, to which he plainly replied, "Yes. He owes us a favor." I nearly died! To think, ME traveling with the living legend Captain of the Sea Dogs!

Madeline, however, seemed none-too-thrilled. In fact, she rolled her eyes as she removed her gloves revealing blood-red hands. "Give me a minute," She said as she rolled up her sleeves & disappeared into the next room.

When she returned, she informed us in her usual curt tone that Berek was currently in Carleon & it seemed he would be there for awhile. "Do you have a ship, or shall I teleport you all there & rupture my spleen in the process?" She asked, erratically glancing between Carlson & myself. When he assured her that we had transportation, she replied, "Good" before walking into the back room. She came out with a beautiful intricately carved wooden box & pushed it into my hands, "You can take this to Carleon for making me get up." After a dramatic warning about why we should never, ever open it, she impatiently shooed us back out onto the street.

I stopped home for a quick dinner, bath & fresh dress before making my way to the Wachturm with one of Lord Jeremy’s finest bottles of wine. Up top I would find my dear Logan again at his desk writing away while the Eisenfürst slept soundly on a nearby cot.

As soon as I stepped in, he looked up with a smile. I sat beside him in the dim candlelight & we spoke quietly for quite some time… too long, I suspect. Finally, he sorrowfully said that he should get back to his work, but it was about another hour later until he walked me down to the ground floor. We stayed inside the doors for awhile yet, holding each other, kissing & sharing sweet words, both agreeing that next time I return it should be for MUCH longer. I know I didn’t want to let him go & from how he held me it seemed he felt the same. When we broke from the comfortable embrace, I pulled out my dagger. His eyes grew wide as I smiled & took a lock of his hair in my other hand, reminding him that he said he would return my gift when we met again… He smiled & nodded, so I cut it & placing it to my chest I promised to keep it with me always.

I left the Wachturm feeling very content & very loved. I wished then that the book was finished… but after awhile at home, the mood would change yet again.

I’d found Dio in the smoking room & challenged him to a game of squares. After all, I was in good spirits & looking forward to taking on "the champion". Of course, after he’d beaten me 3 times in a row I was ready to quit. Besides, during that time I’d begun to realize exactly what kind of an impact my relationship with Logan was having & would have on my life.

So, I did it again. I began unloading on Serpente, who listened patiently & quietly as he usually does, but then a new emotion crept in as I spoke & I found myself belittling him! I remember saying something like, "Love makes one do crazy things, things one wouldn’t normally do, but you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?" Understandably, he looked rather shocked, but I went on about how perhaps I was hoping for too much too soon & how sometimes you can know someone for years & see them every day, wait for years & never hear a thing.

All he said was "This is very true" before wishing me good night & leaving the room.

What the hell was I thinking!?

Actually, I have an idea, but it will have to wait for just a moment, because what happened next just happened…

Dio, Dupré, Erik & myself were making our way to the ship when we noticed two men standing directly in our path. Beneath their dark cloaks, they both wore the black robes of High Inquisitors! They began yelling as we approached, calling us "heretics" & demanding we "hand over our tools of Legion".

My first reaction was to brush past them, to move on, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t back down anymore. I set down my bags & told them that they were just going to have to strip search me. "We could torture it out of you, but we only ask that you hand over Legion’s tools." One replied. I stepped forward defiantly & drew my sword, "Sir, my body is Legion’s tool. You should try it sometime!" With that I cut off his cloak.

Somehow, without my knowledge, during our exchange, inquisitors had surrounded us & the High Inquisitors began to walk away. I simply couldn’t let that happen & as hard as Dio had tried to hold me back, I fought past the brutes & b-lined it for those that had accosted us.

I ran in behind the uncloaked one & stabbed through his knee. He fell hard, squealing in pain as I flipped him up to face me. I put my foot on his chest, the tip of my rapier to his throat & leaning over, I looked into his eyes. "Unlike your kind," I said, "I won’t torture you, I won’t kill you, but take this!" I scratched a deep, red Z into his cheek. He began spouting about how he "cares about his fellow man’s souls" & wants to save them from Legion. I simply replied that The Inquisition IS Legion, which made his eyes nearly bulge out of his head. I was committing heresy against The Prophets, he said, & before I had time to think about what I was saying, I called The Prophets kooks & sorcerers! His face went dead white with horror, "I’m going to take this back to Verdugo" he cried, his voice shaking, "I’ll tell him you are possessed by Legion!" I took my foot off of him & as he stood, I said, "Yes, you go tell him that."

As he limped away, I held my sword high in the air & screamed at the top of my lungs the one phrase that kept repeating itself in my head in Puerto Del Sur, "Theah will never be free until l’Empereur is strangled with the entrails of the last Vatacine priest!!"

Just then, my men arrived behind me. All were rather somber, a little bloody, a little bruised, & completely speechless, except Dio who said but one thing, "Where is the Seiger? Yes, we need a Seiger at this point."

So, that’s what had happened just before I began this entry. I suppose I’ve settled down a bit since. I must say I do feel much better being back on the water again, but there are still some things I have to work out… especially my feelings about Dio & how cruelly I’ve been treating him. Why he puts up with me sometimes is rather beyond me! Seriously, though, while I’ve been writing this, I’ve been thinking about why… And now I finally know.

It’s because I love him, oddly enough, & I want for him to love me.

That’s why I keep telling him about Logan. I want him to say something, to DO something, to show me… something- ANYTHING! Jealousy is a sure-fire sign of love after all, isn’t it? But it all comes back to one sad fact that I have to admit & that is that he doesn’t, not as I wish anyway, & I’m wrong to make him suffer for it. He can’t help what he doesn’t feel, no matter how much I’d like it to be different.

Serpente is my dearest friend in the entire world & has been since we met all those years ago when I was a young noble being taken hostage onto a pirate ship. I’d as soon die than see him miserable, especially on my account.

I guess I owe him a huge apology, once I get up the nerve to approach him, & then I need to find a way to accept things as they are & show him how I feel without hoping for more. I swear, though, however much I take to a man, any man, they will never take the place of my Dio.